Depression · Mental Health

Blue – Green Hair | Poems that Suck

It turns the bathwater
   chemical blue
reminding me of the 
   Mediterranean
and better days.

Of absorbing Vitamin D
  through 
my skin as a beautiful
  man
begged to worship at the
   temple
of my body.

 Where I felt
   alive
being carried on the
   waves
which rolled like a
  skilled 
lover's hips. 

This fiberglass tub
   is
a cheap, lifeless
  imitation
of that Middling Sea;

The blue stain
  ringing
the basin a reminder
  of that.
Heartbreak · Love · Sex

Let’s Smash | Poems that Suck

I don't want love, not really. 
Not the contented domesticity of a
white wedding, a swollen pregnant belly,
a house in the suburbs or a white picket fence. 

None of the considerations and
compromises that leave you 
resentful, thinking about how
you're losing out on your best
fucking years as you brush your
teeth while your partner takes a piss.

No - what I want is, in comparison, 
hedonism. The blaze of passion, white
hot and unquenchable. To worship your
body with my mouth, my hands. 

I want to shiver under your touch, 
feel the desire of your gaze and
die the little death beneath you.

I want the romance of dancing in the 
kitchen, of falling asleep in your arms,
to hold your deepest secrets in confidence,
to know you better than anyone else. 

Then I want the drama. 
I want you to break my heart, 
to shatter it so that I can write
shitty poems for a lifetime. 
Heartbreak · Love

Sisyphus | Poems that Suck

I am assembling a chain,
 you see.
No matter if its fine
 and as
insubstantial as air.

Each moment builds on
 the next,
a determined effort to
 move forward,
to forget you.

This link? I'll forget the
 exact blue
of your eyes, the 
 next the
smell of your skin.

With each link you'll
 fade into
a hazy recollection until
 you become
just another number,

another face in the
 crowd of 
the countless who have
 gone to
die in the crowded room
 (of my heart).

The irony, of course
 is that
each loop is crafted
  with the 
very thing I wish to forget.

And as I try to 
 forget you
I inevitably remember you;
 the blue
fire of your kiss.

It's then that the
 chain shatters
in my hands, forcing me
  to rebuild 
it over and over again

only to rupture in
 my hands
once more, tormenting
 me to
madness.