Writing

Shitty Poetry | Poems that Suck

Shitty poetry

is cowardice.

It tries to beautify

the human condition

to either mask it

or find the beauty

in the awful.

It’s shit because

it doesn’t have

the courage

to capture

what’s is

disgusting,

wrong,

depraved,

obscene,

indecent,

traumatic,

and

heartbreaking.

It sanitizes life,

stripping it of

the bone and

sinew that

makes us

connect

with

each

other.

So go ahead,

write another

poem about

a beautiful

flower

graciously

farting out

pollen

or

some

other

bullshit.

I’ll stick to the underbelly.

Humor

The Shit You’ll See in Paris | Poems that Suck

I was walking along a narrow,

Parisian street; very posh,

the kind with neat hedgerows

that camouflage the iron gate

intended to keep

the riff raff

out.

I was having a pleasant

morning stroll, but

then a giant pile

of dog shit

came across

my

path.

I paused for a moment,

nibbling on my

chocolate croissant,

mulling over

the turd in

my way

before

continuing

on.

Not five steps away,

I beheld what was

very clearly a

skid mark

that repeated

every three

paces

or

so.

I quickly put the

pieces together,

some unfortunate

fellow had stepped

in that

shit

not

far

back

And had spent

half a mile

trying to

scuff it off

the bottom

of

his

shoe.

I gazed at the

last, short

skid shaking

my head.

Surely, this

was a

commentary

on

life.

Humor · Sex

Paris | Poems that Suck

I was in Paris, once,

just a few days.

I didn’t do all the

touristy shit;

the Arc du Triomph,

the Eiffel Tower,

the Louvre.

Instead, I went down

to Pigalle, where the

streets are a litany

of porno shops.

I bought myself

a vibrator

and

some lube.

Then went back to

my closet of

an apartment

and had a

good fuck

on the

lice

ridden

bed.

Love · Sex

Closer | Poems that Suck

 Close was never 
                                              close enough.
 Even if 
 I could hear you in my head,
 visit you in my dreams, 
 feel you buried deep inside 
                                                   me. 
 It was never enough.
 Maybe if I could have
 peeled back the fragile
                                                 layers
  
 of your skin, cracked open
 your ribs and found some
                                               comfortable
  
 place between your lungs
 and spleen to burrow into,
                                                I would've
 been satisfied. 
    
Free Verse · Love · Sex

Passion Fruit | Poems that Suck

We bit into the tender,

                                                              pink flesh

of some exotic fruit.

Its thin, sweet juice dripping

                                                 from our

lips, and I wondered

what it would be like

                                        if he 

bit into me like that.

Love · Sex

A Triptych: The Final | Poems that Suck

Lean back,”

              he urged me,

                   cradling me

                      like a child

                          in the deep,

                               green, sea. 

I obliged,

   pushing my

       hips heavenward,

                and letting my

                      head sink into

                              the abyss. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful,”

            and for a moment, 

                    I felt weightless

                         believing in my 

                                  own beauty 

                                        for the 

                                              first

                                                 time.

Free Verse · Humor

You Need Humor to Make it Out Alive | Poems that Suck

 I shit my pants once -
 now, hear me out: 
 

 I was eating Chinese,
 a greasy eggroll, 
 so greasy I made
 a comment 
 out loud
 about it. 


 Against my better judgement
 I ate the thing 
 anyway. Hours
 later, I left work
 not thinking
 about that
 fucking
 eggroll.


 I gambled and lost, 
 as they say, and
 I began laughing
 hysterically
 because what
 else can 
 you do
 with your
 pants full of shit
 and a 15 minute 
 ride home?