Paris | Poems that Suck

I was in Paris, once,

just a few days.

I didn’t do all the

touristy shit;

the Arc du Triomph,

the Eiffel Tower,

the Louvre.

Instead, I went down

to Pigalle, where the

streets are a litany

of porno shops.

I bought myself

a vibrator

and

some lube.

Then went back to

my closet of

an apartment

and had a

good fuck

on the

lice

ridden

bed.

Passion Fruit | Poems that Suck

We bit into the tender,

                                                              pink flesh

of some exotic fruit.

Its thin, sweet juice dripping

                                                 from our

lips, and I wondered

what it would be like

                                        if he 

bit into me like that.

You Need Humor to Make it Out Alive | Poems that Suck

 I shit my pants once -
 now, hear me out: 
 

 I was eating Chinese,
 a greasy eggroll, 
 so greasy I made
 a comment 
 out loud
 about it. 


 Against my better judgement
 I ate the thing 
 anyway. Hours
 later, I left work
 not thinking
 about that
 fucking
 eggroll.


 I gambled and lost, 
 as they say, and
 I began laughing
 hysterically
 because what
 else can 
 you do
 with your
 pants full of shit
 and a 15 minute 
 ride home?