I shit my pants once - now, hear me out: I was eating Chinese, a greasy eggroll, so greasy I made a comment out loud about it. Against my better judgement I ate the thing anyway. Hours later, I left work not thinking about that fucking eggroll. I gambled and lost, as they say, and I began laughing hysterically because what else can you do with your pants full of shit and a 15 minute ride home?
No, really.
Poems that Suck 