The worst part
is
when I lie in bed
at night,
and I have to stop myself
from thinking about
a (our)
future.
I catch myself,
then
cross my wrists
over my chest,
like a corpse,
to
protect
my
heart.
Void | Poems that Suck
There's a void at the center of my being.
I don't mean my heart.
I mean a pillar, as if God drilled out the
core of me,
Some glorified test tube surrounded by flesh.
It's not comfortable,
But I admit it's a good place to store baggage.
Sisyphus | Poems that Suck
I am assembling a chain, you see. No matter if its fine and as insubstantial as air. Each moment builds on the next, a determined effort to move forward, to forget you. This link? I'll forget the exact blue of your eyes, the next the smell of your skin. With each link you'll fade into a hazy recollection until you become just another number, another face in the crowd of the countless who have gone to die in the crowded room (of my heart). The irony, of course is that each loop is crafted with the very thing I wish to forget. And as I try to forget you I inevitably remember you; the blue fire of your kiss. It's then that the chain shatters in my hands, forcing me to rebuild it over and over again only to rupture in my hands once more, tormenting me to madness.
The Weight of Words | Poems that Suck
I take this dilapidated notebook
everywhere, even the bathtub.
I like to let the hot water open
my pores, my mind, my heart.
Between the furious scribbling
I set it on my chest, waiting
for the next verse.
The weight of my words presses
me deep into the basin, the
gravity of 10,000 nights, and
I'm thankful the water is shallow,
so I don't succumb to the burden.
Octopus| Poems that Suck
I'd joke and call you
my octopus because you'd
engulf me in a flurry of
limbs whenever I came near,
pulling me seductively toward
your mouth.
I was happy to be your
prey, to get lost in the
tangle of your tentacles - another
love blinded fool - I had no idea that
you'd feast on my soft innards, then
spit out
the bones
when you were through.
Episode | Poems that Suck
Time crawls during an episode, the days and nights extending before you; a vanishing horizon. You begin to take notice of little things; the exact rhythm of your heart, the way a water droplet holds light. But mostly I sit in the stillness of apathy, stagnate as everything around me grows and changes while I molder. It's happened enough times for me to know that it's all a matter of time before it passes. So I sit, and smoke, and drink black coffee and wait until the light returns.
Scars | Poems that Suck
Buried beneath the
raw flesh of every scar
there lies a story, a veiled
truth manifested in the physical form.
If you listen
close enough they will
whisper, confessing our sins,
our triumphs, our follies and, even,
our secrets.
Call me a Psychic | Poems that Suck
We'll chance upon each other, some day or evening a long time from now. By then my heart will have scabbed over, but still the edges are tender. You'll be excited - "it's been so long!" - but I'll be full of dread, caution. I'll regard you coolly, just enough detachment to make you unsure, ill at ease. I'll make some cutting remark, veiled in subtlety, then excuse myself from your company. You'll mull the comment over, repeating it in your mind, puzzling together its meaning. And slowly, you'll reach the soul of it and know that I'm still bleeding. You'll watch me from across the room, and I'll know by its focused heat, But I'm too old and too tired to play the games of young girls. You won't see me feigning laughter or pretending to flirt with some random person. I'll simply be me, as even keeled and placid as you knew I was. It will remind you of those quiet moments we shared, tangled in each other, Doing nothing but marveling at the miracle of love, the wonder of eachother's breathing. You'll then be in touch, and I'll hesitate but answer; no sense of preservation. You'll apologize for it all and I'll give you a halfhearted, watery kinda smile. (Actions, of course, speak louder than words and I'm simply mirroring your past indifference.) You'll realize too late, like they all do, that you made a huge mistake. But it'll make no difference to me because you had broken something inside me That day, way back, when I stared out of the window, watching a squirrel as You stood above me and recited a litany of why you didn't want me. And maybe then you'll long for me the way I did those many months, The wind blowing through the hollow in your chest, whistling past the ragged edges. And then you'll understand, it dissolved that warm October as I sat in silence. You'll know it's too late for me, for you, for us. It's just now that you're catching up.
Empath’s Eye | Poems that Suck
"Look at me," he murmured. So I did, choosing his left eye over the right. Like I knew it would, the pupil dilated, blossoming under my steady gaze. There's never an option, I'm taken hostage by eyes and that's why I never look, see? Now I saw him, stripped bare before me, the scars raw on his flesh. Yet, he never blinked, never broke contact as I penetrated and saw it all. I admired his courage - I could never be that vulnerable - but also his stupidity. After all, he didn't know what kind of woman I might be or what I could do with his scars. Then again... maybe he just wanted to be seen.
Rumi | Poems that Suck
Rumi was really onto something -
writing poems about God, who for
all we know could be a figment of
our imagination, or a madness of spirit.
The point is: when you love something intangible
and invisible, it has no chance of ever breaking your heart.
