The Unexpected | Poems that Suck

I was gazing out of the window 
 when I felt a soft touch on my 
  shoulder, as gentle as a whisper.
   When I turned to look, I saw your head
    hovering over my skin. The tenderness of 
     that kiss shocked me profoundly, as if you
      had touched some secret part of my being.

I blushed deeply at the obscenity of it. 

Shitty Poetry | Poems that Suck

Shitty poetry

is cowardice.

It tries to beautify

the human condition

to either mask it

or find the beauty

in the awful.

–

It’s shit because

it doesn’t have

the courage

to capture

what’s is

disgusting,

wrong,

depraved,

obscene,

indecent,

traumatic,

and

heartbreaking.

–

It sanitizes life,

stripping it of

the bone and

sinew that

makes us

connect

with

each

other.

–

So go ahead,

write another

poem about

a beautiful

flower

graciously

farting out

pollen

or

some

other

bullshit.

–

I’ll stick to the underbelly.

The Shit You’ll See in Paris | Poems that Suck

I was walking along a narrow,

Parisian street; very posh,

the kind with neat hedgerows

that camouflage the iron gate

intended to keep

the riff raff

out.

–

I was having a pleasant

morning stroll, but

then a giant pile

of dog shit

came across

my

path.

–

I paused for a moment,

nibbling on my

chocolate croissant,

mulling over

the turd in

my way

before

continuing

on.

–

Not five steps away,

I beheld what was

very clearly a

skid mark

that repeated

every three

paces

or

so.

–

I quickly put the

pieces together,

some unfortunate

fellow had stepped

in that

shit

not

far

back

–

And had spent

half a mile

trying to

scuff it off

the bottom

of

his

shoe.

–

I gazed at the

last, short

skid shaking

my head.

Surely, this

was a

commentary

on

life.

Paris | Poems that Suck

I was in Paris, once,

just a few days.

I didn’t do all the

touristy shit;

the Arc du Triomph,

the Eiffel Tower,

the Louvre.

–

Instead, I went down

to Pigalle, where the

streets are a litany

of porno shops.

I bought myself

a vibrator

and

some lube.

–

Then went back to

my closet of

an apartment

and had a

good fuck

on the

lice

ridden

bed.

Closer | Poems that Suck

 Close was never 
                                              close enough.
 Even if 
 I could hear you in my head,
 visit you in my dreams, 
 feel you buried deep inside 
                                                   me. 
 It was never enough.
 Maybe if I could have
 peeled back the fragile
                                                 layers
  
 of your skin, cracked open
 your ribs and found some
                                               comfortable
  
 place between your lungs
 and spleen to burrow into,
                                                I would've
 been satisfied. 
    

Passion Fruit | Poems that Suck

We bit into the tender,

                                                              pink flesh

of some exotic fruit.

Its thin, sweet juice dripping

                                                 from our

lips, and I wondered

what it would be like

                                        if he 

bit into me like that.

A Triptych: The Final | Poems that Suck

Lean back,”

              he urged me,

                   cradling me

                      like a child

                          in the deep,

                               green, sea. 

I obliged,

   pushing my

       hips heavenward,

                and letting my

                      head sink into

                              the abyss. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful,”

            and for a moment, 

                    I felt weightless

                         believing in my 

                                  own beauty 

                                        for the 

                                              first

                                                 time.

You Need Humor to Make it Out Alive | Poems that Suck

 I shit my pants once -
 now, hear me out: 
 

 I was eating Chinese,
 a greasy eggroll, 
 so greasy I made
 a comment 
 out loud
 about it. 


 Against my better judgement
 I ate the thing 
 anyway. Hours
 later, I left work
 not thinking
 about that
 fucking
 eggroll.


 I gambled and lost, 
 as they say, and
 I began laughing
 hysterically
 because what
 else can 
 you do
 with your
 pants full of shit
 and a 15 minute 
 ride home?